I
have to say I'm feeling a bit flush at the moment. I chanced
upon Keith one morning last week, spark out after a particularly
heavy night's indulgence. Being something of traditionalist
and with him in no position to object, I decided to take this
opportunity to observe an ancient English custom. So with
the aid of an old wheel barrow blagged off Charlie's dad,
the 'Human Stiff' has, even at a penny a go, proved a pretty
decent little earner for me if he did but know it. It's true
I've had to weather the odd criticism about the shabby state
of my rather iffy effigy and to be honest, sartorially, he
could be said to be one flute short of a the whistle compared
to most of the local offerings around. Mind you, I could have
still done with out that pushy Yank bint, who's recently shacked
up with Mick, sticking her oar in. She would keep cornering
me and tell me how she could do a style make over that would
be "so really cool" and how a Guy's image is "Like
so really really more important than personality".
In truth, this is a
time of year when I do contemplate with a degree of trepidation
the traditional annual celebratory events of the moment. As
I write, Mssrs Popkins and Waylor have been busily at work
organising the Band's Guy Fawkes bonfire night do and for
which Nicky has promised a stunning grand finale. "Never
mind A Bigger Bang man, this'll blow your sock's off"...
"or somebody's" sniggers Mick W. Although
they are remaining extremely tight-lipped, I was disturbed
to find a well thumbed biography on Werner Von Brown lying
around. I am hearing rumours that their plans involve rigging
an unsuspecting Byron's wings' with rockets, in the hope that
we may be treated to a spectacular fly past by the Band's
Spiritual Founder as a climax to the night's events. I am
none too optimistic about the outcome, after all, Von Braun
was aiming for the stars.... not with one, also, as I recall,
he did in anycase have a tendency to miss rather a lot and
hit London instead. Well I guess it can't be much worse than
last year when Mick and Keith ended up not speaking after
Keith's disparaging remarks made about the size of Mick's
Roman Candles and then Bill spent the whole night complaining
that the Squibs he bought weren't damp enough.
However,
rocket scientists or not, we will be back taking care of business
at Rayners Lane and Hollywood Restaurant
next weekend, hope you can make it. Following on, the band
have been honoured with the task of entertaining the 400 A-list
musical celebrity guests due to attend Stephen Wooleys
Carnaby St premier party on the 16th, for "Stoned",
his much publicised film about the life and tragic demise
of Brian Jones.
